Let me tell you, cyclists are such – CHOOSE ONE – whiny babies latte-sipping, Lycra-wearing libtards scofflaws little bike people . This one time I drove into Downtown Burlington from my home in – CHOOSE ONE – Shelburne St. Albans Colchester South Colchester/NNE and I saw someone on a bike – CHOOSE ONE – not wearing a helmet or clean underwear run a stop sign almost graze a jaywalker park for free surprise an inattentive driver flip me off after I endangered her life . It made me feel so – CHOOSE ONE – mad entitled old ! Bikes aren’t like cars, which – CHOOSE ONE – totally pay their share of costs never speed ALWAYS stop at stop signs never hurt anyone, ever , so it’s just not fair that – CHOOSE ONE – bike infrastructure receives public funds drivers that maim cyclists have to pay a small fine 37 hipsters can fit their bikes in the spot where I’d like to park my car I’m expected to slow down once in awhile . Therefore bikes should be – CHOOSE ONE – run off the road licensed like cars taxed into oblivion . This will surely bring an end to all those times – CHOOSE ONE – cyclists injure drivers I see someone having more fun than me I have my commute impeded I feel old . Anyone who disagrees is probably just – CHOOSE ONE – a millennial a flatlander a millennial flatlander .