index.html
<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Anti-bike rant made easy</title>
<link href="https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/bootswatch/3.3.7/superhero/bootstrap.min.css" rel="stylesheet" crossorigin="anonymous">
<link rel="stylesheet" href="https://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/bootstrap-select/1.11.0/css/bootstrap-select.min.css">
</head>
<body>
<style>
.cyoa {
line-height:50px;
}
</style>
<div class="container">
<div class="row">
<div class="col-md-8 col-md-offset-2">
<div class="jumbotron">
<h3>How to Write an Anti-Bike Commentary for #BTV, Without the Nuisance of Actual Thought</h3>
<h4>Adapted from <a href=
"//www.chicagomag.com/city-life/September-2016/bleep-bloop-machine-learning-bleep-bloop/"
target="_blank">Luke Seeman's Chicago woes</a></h4>
</div>
<p class="cyoa">Let me tell you, cyclists are such <select class="selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
whiny babies
</option>
<option>
latte-sipping, Lycra-wearing libtards
</option>
<option>
scofflaws
</option>
<option>
little bike people
</option>
</select>. This one time I drove into Downtown Burlington from my home in <select class=
"selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
Shelburne
</option>
<option>
St. Albans
</option>
<option>
Colchester
</option>
<option>
South Colchester/NNE
</option>
</select> and I saw someone on a bike <select class="selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
not wearing a helmet or clean underwear
</option>
<option>
run a stop sign
</option>
<option>
almost graze a jaywalker
</option>
<option>
park for free
</option>
<option>
surprise an inattentive driver
</option>
<option>
flip me off after I endangered her life
</option>
</select>. It made me feel so <select class="selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
mad
</option>
<option>
entitled
</option>
<option>
old
</option>
</select>! Bikes aren’t like cars, which <select class="selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
totally pay their share of costs
</option>
<option>
never speed
</option>
<option>
ALWAYS stop at stop signs
</option>
<option>
never hurt anyone, ever
</option>
</select>, so it’s just not fair that <select class="selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
bike infrastructure receives public funds
</option>
<option>
drivers that maim cyclists have to pay a small fine
</option>
<option>
37 hipsters can fit their bikes in the spot where I’d like to park my car
</option>
<option>
I’m expected to slow down once in awhile
</option>
</select>. Therefore bikes should be <select class="selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
run off the road
</option>
<option>
licensed like cars
</option>
<option>
taxed into oblivion
</option>
</select>. This will surely bring an end to all those times <select class=
"selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
cyclists injure drivers
</option>
<option>
I see someone having more fun than me
</option>
<option>
I have my commute impeded
</option>
<option>
I feel old
</option>
</select>. Anyone who disagrees is probably just <select class="selectpicker">
<option>
– CHOOSE ONE –
</option>
<option>
a millennial
</option>
<option>
a flatlander
</option>
<option>
a millennial flatlander
</option>
</select>.</p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<script src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/2.2.4/jquery.min.js"></script>
<script src="https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/bootstrap/3.3.7/js/bootstrap.min.js" integrity="sha384-Tc5IQib027qvyjSMfHjOMaLkfuWVxZxUPnCJA7l2mCWNIpG9mGCD8wGNIcPD7Txa" crossorigin="anonymous"></script>
<script src="https://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/bootstrap-select/1.11.0/js/bootstrap-select.min.js"></script>
<script>
$('.selectpicker').selectpicker({
style: 'btn-primary',
size: 4
});
</script>
</body>
</html>